Yesterday, after spending the week with my sister and her boyfriend, we were on the long drive back to my mother's house. We started talking about the impressions we form of other people. Literally, what we take away from them during the time we have been in their company. Not the surface level impression of general likability, but the deeper layers that give us the general sensation of compatibility with our own patterns of behavior.
My sister's boyfriend gave me his interpretation of who I was when we were first introduced. Notably, he commented that I seemed to be the type of person who was very firm, very solid in knowing what I believe and what I know to be true for me. Paraphrasing briefly, he told me that I was someone who seemed most at peace and content when left to my own space...and that I seemed to grow uneasy or unsettled after too long a period with clusters or large groups of people.
His assessment was correct.
Today's daily newsletter in my mailbox from the DailyOm included my horoscope. Here's just a brief snippet of the message today:
...Your house, apartment, or even your bedroom can become a sanctuary that nurtures your soul and allows you to reconnect with your inner self. Freed from outer-world distractions, you can take care of personal chores, spend time pursuing enlightenment, or simply putter around the house. Home may offer feelings of comfort and contentment that you can’t find anywhere else... - DailyOm, Cancer Horoscope, July 5th
I chuckled. After I got home last night I was full and pleased to have spent time with my baby sister, my little jewel. But I was also eager to go home and re-orient my space to what I needed it to be. I burned sage through each of the rooms while in prayer, I followed it with sweetgrass to replace whatever had been removed with lightness and comfort. I burned sandalwood oil, I sat quietly and soaked it all in. As much fun as I had with her...I was off kilter, having immersed myself in so much energy that was not my own. I couldn't hear myself. And I get cagey and anxious when I cannot feel my own spirit in the company of other souls.
I believe a soul's spirit leaves a resin wherever it's been. You can feel it when you walk into a room and you experience an immediate shift in your disposition. From happy to anxious or indifferent to angry. Sometimes it's good. Like when you walk into your grandmother's home and you immediately feel a sense of peace and groundedness that washes over you like sunshine. Sometimes it can be jarring, like walking into a room where an argument occured and you suddenly feel filled with tension and conflict. We all leave an imprint on the space we've been in. And It can be difficult at times to distinguish your own feelings and moods from another. Some are more sensitive to it than others.
The more souls you have entering your space, the more you take in and process. Whether you consciously want to or not. Sometimes, it is simply too much for me to take in. Many times, I simply don't want the energy that's being offered to me. After having lots of traffic in my home or disruption to the order in which I do things, I grow eager to go through this little "orienting" process to settle my space. Once I cleanse away the lingering effects of the energy others have brought into my home, I can then get back to clearly feeling my own. I can get back to my center.
Today, I have no desire to leave the familiar, nurturing confines of my own home. I wish only to replenish myself so that I can resume going out into the world clearly hearing my own voice in a crowd of millions. My prayer for you, is that no matter where you are or who you are with...you can always find, hear and embrace your own incredible energy.
. . . not a departure.
unfortunately, i haven't figured out how to syndicate yet . . . so here. have a link until i figure it out.
the new adventures of erin*carly
there's only two posts so far, and you'll all laugh at them, i'm sure. but still . . . eh. (the top photo is not what i want, but at least it's not a default photo.)
:: sigh ::
it's just not vox.
vox people, if you're reading this, i wouldn't be contemplating this move to a different platform if you allowed outsiders to comment. every other blogging site (or at least the ones i know about) has awesome ways to catch spam comments, if that's what you're worried about. i'm sure you can find one, too!
at first, the community of vox felt like a giant world open in front of me. now, it feels like an invisible fence.
Sorry, I have no videos of aliens taking over the world, or exploding White Houses or anything. What I do have is the best video EVER. EVER.
Happy 4th of July! Try not to burn anything down with your crazy fireworks, ok?
1. If you feel a burning need to tell someone to shut up more than three times in one day with ANY consistency....get out.
2. If you have to resist rolling your eyes twice a day with ANY consistency....get out.
3. If you find yourself adding a "...but" after any complement you give someone...get out.
4. If you're more preoccupied with what others THINK you are feeling rather than being sure yourself...get out.
5. If you spend 25% of your time pretending you aren't angry when you are...get out.
6. If your friends have to remind you or offer you compelling reasons to not get out....get out. (And get new friends)
7. If you feel a need to explain or justify your s/o's behavior to get that appalled look off of your loved ones faces or feel alright with your circumstances...get out.
But be warned about taking my advice. I'm a chronically single woman. Perhaps I have no earthly clue what I'm talking about, or I'm the most intolerant person on the planet.
]]>It's beautiful, it's fast and it lives with me now!
I wonder if the Magnetic Fields had this guy in mind when they wrote their Zombie Boy song...
I've been getting some seriously awesome Spam - with killer subject lines. They almost make me want to make my erection huge with large doses of Viagra, Cialis and other prescription drugs -- all while wearing the hottest new replica watches and bags!
Here are a few of my faves:
and what has to be my ultra favorite:
Well played, Spammer Dudes.
So I've had this movie on my bookshelf for ages and I finally blocked out an afternoon to watch it.
I really enjoyed it. It's dated, but also quite modern: 1982's Missing, with Sissy Spacek and Jack Lemmon. (Music by freakin' VANGELIS! Talk about dated!)
The story is compelling (a young American journalist in Chile in the early 70s is kidnapped and the film chronicles his wife's and father's attempts to find him), but it's the portrayal of all the dubious activities done by the CIA and other US government agencies which holds the story together: their complicity and active involvement in the coup which put that butcher Pinochet in power.
It's based on a the true-life disappearance and execution of Charles Horman whose kidnap and murder has never been explained. Nor has the (apparently) deep involvement of the US government officials in allowing it (and even giving their stamp of approval) been explained.
It's only mildly surprising, I guess, that nearly 40 years later, the US government still hasn't declassified everything about their involvement in all this blood-letting in not only Chile but Bolivia, Argentina, Brazil, etc. etc.
Anyway, the most interesting part of the movie is watching Jack Lemmon's character move from a stodgy, naive, middle of the road conservative American to having his eyes opened at all the brutality the US is involved in abroad. (They still are, obviously). Some things never change.
As in some other movies I've watched lately, I'm struck with how the idea of "the left" as a political force is largely dead today. Sure, we have liberals and people who call themselves "left" but it's so pro-establishment nowadays. There was a time when being "left" meant fighting for social justice and questioning what the government says (not just a Republican government either), what the party says, fighting for workers' rights. And in so many ways, people, the poor, the downtrodden, are far more exploited today than ever before, even in (particularly in) the US. Millions on the brink of destitution, 40 million+ with no healthcare, people eeking out a living with little access to good education or careers or power. Has American ideology crushed all true dissenters?
Not that I'm any better. It's a far cry from lamenting the sad state of affairs to actually DOING anything about it. Anyone with half a brain can complain. How do we resist today when we see all those who resisted so long ago just acquiescing to the system, continuing the system, accepting and resigning themselves to their place in the system. It's so depressing. Is resistance dead?
There used to be this avenue to subscribe to: there used to be an alternative vision of the world to ascribe to. There is no longer, I guess. Or at least it's radically changed since the 70s (and even well into the 80s). Young people used to become involved in radical political movements. Used to give speeches and resist the system and fight against what they as the corruption and duplicity of the right. Now young people think they're radical when they listen to Olivia Newton John or refuse to use Facebook.
Sigh.
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